I got most of these siggies from i-petz.com, go there and see what it's like. Can't think of any good siggies? Here's a list compiled by nearieakiller26.
Copyright of the Great One. lol.

To edit your signature, go here and copy and paste in the NeoSignature part.

Nearieakiller26's Siggies.

Disclaimer: Nearieakiller26 does not bear the consequences of anyone using the siggies.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me...

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those that think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those that know better.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.

I'd say he's the laziest guy alive but I'm not sure about that last part.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

The more you cry, the less you have to pee.

Life would be much easier if I had the source code.

Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous

Yeah, dude, whatever.

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.

Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Disclaimer: I'm not as smart as I think I am.

I support anonymous posting.

War determines not who is right, but who is left.

I'll be right back, my coffee cup is empty.

Engineers never lie; they just approximate the truth.

Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive.

There is no such thing as good luck. There is only misfortune and its occasional absence.

Vegetarians eat vegetables. I'm a humanitarian.

The silly poster / he writes really bad haiku / readers all go mad

Notice: Your mouse has been moved. Windows will now restart so this change can take effect.

I hate stupid little sigs... Hey look, I've got one.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

Humpty Dumpty was pushed!

Insert clever line here

Insert sig here

Press any key to continue, or any other key to cancel.

Things are only impossible until they are not.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!

2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 lefts do.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If the psychic hotline really was... wouldn't they call you?

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

What's another word for synonym?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it. (Who studied this and why?)

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I love to go down to the school yard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming... they don't know that I'm only using blanks.

Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "builting"?

All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did they expect the horses to do, anyway?

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I tell him, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, I tell him, "Probably because of something you did."

Headaches are all in your mind.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

I went to school to become a wit, I only got halfway through...

I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.

Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear using that language are teenagers.

The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out.

Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling. (Limit $1 per order).

I used to be Schizophrenic, but we're better now.

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

I plead contemporary insanity.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY can throw one hell of a party.

If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings..... they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

The difference between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

They say the grass is greener on the other side, but have you ever flipped it over?

"The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first."

Whoever says that the small things don't matter should try sleeping with a mosquito in the room.

Cananyonehelpmefixthespacebaronmykeyboard?

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your lower half unprotected.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Don't throw your computers out the windows. Throw the Windows out of your computers.

I'll pretend like there's something witty here and you pretend like you laughed at it.

(Please remember to flame me on both sides, for even cooking .... )

Money is how people with no talent keep score.

All information in this post is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in some sense.

The more I learn about the Internet, the more amazed I am that it works at all.

"Everything has a purpose" he said for no reason at all.

Embrace the madness...

Previous sig consumed by flames.

This space for rant!

Do not try to read the sig, for that is impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. There is no sig.

This sig is worse than my last.

If I wanted a sig I would have filled in that stupid box.

This sig is false.

Sig wanted: Must be concise, funny, and display my cleverness.

I'm not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am...

A mighty oak is the result of a nut that held its ground.

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. Those who study history are doomed to know it's repeating.

This comment is for mature audiences and may contain adult situations, drug use and strong language.

I used to have a decent sig, but I got bored of it.

People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their definition of reality.

Last week, I left my 2 XP CD's on my dashboard in plain view. Someone broke into my car and left 2 more.

If it ain't broke, you need more software.

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

I can't give you a brain, but I can give you a diploma!

It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.

I used to have a cool sig but people replied to it more than they did my comments.

Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity.

Trying is the first step to failing.

This is an antiviral sig, please delete all viral sigs so I may do my job.

Like Daddy always said: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

If windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?

Quantum mechanics: the dreams that stuff is made of.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Start planning today, to be spontaneous tomorrow.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything then I regain consciousness.

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

P.E.T.A. - People Eating Tasty Animals

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Snow White and the Eight Dwarfs: The title, before they expelled Gassy.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

"It is Mind over Matter... If you ain't got no mind... It don't matter"

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

You should all either grow up or get shot.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be estatic.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

All generalizations are false.

It's the pigeon, dammit.

There are three types of people in this world - those who can count, and those who can't.

Friends don't set friends on fire.

Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get me.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Hello, I am a signature virus. Please add me to the bottom of your sig and help me take over the world! Resistance is futile.

I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier.

I don't wanna, I don't have ta, I ain't gonna.

Live well, Love much, Laugh often.

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Houses are made of bricks & beams, Homes are made of love & dreams.

Attitude is EVERYTHING.